Goodbye Grandma

5:28 PM Edit This 8 Comments »

My father's mother is dying. Yesterday I wrote the following entry for a circle journal, theme: the good stuff. Forgive the typos.

How timely is your Good Stuff journal as it ocmes to me. My grandmother lies dying in Cleveland at this moment. We made the decision to pull life support (today). I was able to travel there and spend the last two days saying goodbye, and trying to comfort her in her pain. I know I will be called upond to give the euology when she passes, and there are so many memories , so much good stuff.

I was a toddler when my grandfather passed away; my parents and my grandmother bought a duplex, with us living on one saide and grandma living in the other. I often slept at her side, to be awakened by her old jukebox playing ballads, and allowed Coca-Cola for breakfast. She'd complain how my restless leg had kept her awake. I remember the toys she bought me for the backyard, and hated the pre-school classes she paid for me to attend. Years later, my parents would move us to another state, yet us kids would still spend a few weeks every summer at Grandma's cottage on Lake Erie.

When my family came to Cleveland to visit, we would either stop at Grandma's first or we'd spend the night at her small home. She always had food ready for us to eat, a deli plate or a ham, and every year for my birthday she'd make me a chocolate pie.

Because of her I had no college loans to pay back, and she gave me money to travel Europe. She was generous with not just her money, but her heart. To a fault. For instance, when I lived in Cleveland in 1996, she'd call me in the mornings when she thought I'd slept in long enough.

About five years ago, she bought me my first personal computer. She truly felt rewarded when that led to my meeting my husband via internet dating. We are eternally grateful to her for that.

Besides my mother, she was the most important woman in my life - teaching me many lessons about unconditional love. Despite being widowed twice, she adored men even though she swore them off after Grandpa Smudz died. I know when she was a young, single woman...she was quite the hottie. She once proudly showed me the black and white photo she sent Grandpa Bobinchek when he was serving in the Army during the World War. It was his pin-up. One time, she scolded me for not flirting with the boys at the nursery when we went to buy garden flowers...I was in my early twenties at the time.

The last time I spoke to her on the phone, we had one of the most meaningful conversations we'd had in years - and it would be her last gift to me. I have regrets, how little time I actually spent with her since I moved away from Cleveland, and that I could have come visit her any time over the last four months yet I was too busy with my own life. I am blessed to be comforted by the fact that my memories of her are indeed rich with the good stuff.

As I drove into town the other day to say goodbye to her, I remembered all the times I'd call her if I got lost on the way, or if I needed a phone number of someone in the family. I remember her beaming at my wedding, and how at the end of the reception I sat next to her and rested my head on her shoulder. I could have crawled onto her lap as I did as a little girl.

I am comforted by the fact that as she passes, she will be in the company of her parents and both of her husbands. I trust that she will be in heaven helping us get pregnant. I know that God is calling her home because she's done all she can do here on Earth, her job is done. He needs her in Heaven now. God bless and I love you Grandma.

8 Share your thouughts:

Nikki Workman said...

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. You have an oppurtunity to celebrate a wonderful life lived richly!

sophia said...

Your grandmother sounds like a gem. What a blessing to have so many wonderful memories and good times together. My grannie has been gone for 15 years and I think of her daily still. She left me with many happy memories to cherish and I appreciate each and every one. I'm sure that you will always feel the same. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Sophia

Nicole (your SBO sista) said...

Your writing left me speechless. So beautifully put. You're on my mind...

Maryfrances Fabbri said...

JA, you and Nikki need to write a book. "Meaningful Journaling". You have brought me to tears. What a tribute. I think your euology is done. Simply beautiful.

jenn said...

julie, you dont know me.. stumbled onto your blog from 2 peas....

you brought me to tears and helped me remember all the fond memories of my grandmother.. which is so special to me...

my thoughts are with you during this difficult time

Marjorie said...

JA...it's with a sad heart that I write this but also with a joyous one. Be thankful for what you had with your Grandmother. Relationships like this come once in a lifetime. You memories of your Grandma will live with you forever...XOXOXO

Marjorie said...

PS
So Grandma will have her 2 hubbys fighting for her in heaven. LOL Just up her alley I would say. *smiles*

Miranda said...

JA, just in tears behind my computer, what a beautiful tribute to a lovely Grandma. So sorry for you that she has passed away, but she will be in good hands helping you from above. I know for sure.